APOLOGIA PRO VITA SUA

The title of this little piece is borrowed from the autobiography of Cardinal Newman.

I often used to wonder, why do I write.

Somerset Maugham once said that when we grow old, what would oppress us most would be not failing health or decreasing mental faculties, but the weight of memories. As I grow old, I gradually realize the significance of what Somerset Maugham said. However, instead of allowing memories to weigh me down, I thought it a little prudent to record them. Perhaps, it also satisfies the irrepressible urge to express oneself. Initially when I chose to write, I shared them with a few friends and as the response was less unfavourable and as a public domain was available, I decided to post them on a blog.

Our memories often consist of impressions about our relations and interactions with people. Therefore I started with a portrait of some of my friends and colleagues both alive and dead. Instead of merely recording facts and events, I added a tinge of humour by exaggerating a little here or twisting an anecdote there and in the process have attempted to make them more readable.

I have always been fascinated by the personal essays of Addison and Steel, A.G.Gardiner and Robert Lynd and in recent times, that of R.K.Narayan and Shobha De. To quote R.K.Narayan, ‘In personal essays you could see some of the author himself from the theme. The personal essay was moré enjoyable because it had the writer’s likes and dislikes, his observations always with a specific flavour or humour, sympathy, aversion, style, charm and oddity’. In these writings, my oddities would be clearly visible, be they my style of writing, method of observation, manner of description, pattern of mistakes or short comings. I also believe that our writings should reflect our personality, adorable or abominable they may be.

A man at my age should have the privilege to pontificate ‘Polonius’ like and therefore you will find aphorisms scattered in my posts and comments. As mere portraits would be biographical sketches, I have also drawn upon what is happening around us and have also been inspired by a few blogs I read and continue to read.

And finally, I realize that in the world of the Immortals, I am a lesser mortal, ‘beating in the void’, my ‘wings in vain’.